Football Sunday Score: Commercials 27 Football 3

Football Sunday. A day most sports fans cherish, and look forward to. It is such a special day to fans we even try to work our busy schedules around it. Shitloads of friends, food, beer, weed, and if you get really fucking lucky your friend stops by with 4 percasets with your name on them. What a day it is. Your favorite team on the tube, a beer in one hand and a broad on the other. You just can't beat it. Well, actually there is a big problem here that has grown to make me want to throw a coffee table at my wall. Furthermore between stuffing my face and sucking back brews I have gotten a little peak through the fog and I think there is quite a conspiracy going on here. That's right and you know what? I think somehow our stupid asses have been slowly brainwashed. Over the years, very slowly, the corporate world has slowly cranked up the heat on the marketing oven. It has tip toed up behind us and today finally kicked me right in the nuts. Think about it, back when you were young it was so pure and innocent. You look up at your television and you see the game, the score on the screen, and the two team names. Simple, straightforward and all we needed to be happy. It has gotten to the point where if Eli Manning had a Hyundai logo on his genitals I wouldn't be surprised. I'm so accustomed to being bent over and fucked in the ass by commercials all day, it barely fazes me. There is something really wrong about this. I am positive that over the years commercials get longer and longer, and here is the real kick in the groin, louder and LOUDER. Tell you haven't experienced scenario this too. You're sitting on the couch watching TV at like 10 at night. You know got work in the morning, and your girlfriend/boyfriend is snoring next to you. All you want is to watch a little of the tube and conk out to recharge for another work day. So you turn the TV up a little so you can hear the dialogue better and it's just right. Loud enough where you can clearly hear the people talking, but not too loud so not to wake your better half and get into a fight and wind up throwing your remote through your LCD. Everything seems to be going just dandy and then a fucking Budwieser commercial comes on and blasts the covers off of your bed and knocks you into a wall head first with sound waves. When did all these shitty commercials become so ridiculously loud? What the fuck are they trying to do market beer to Himalayan mountain climbers from my apartment in West Orange, New Jersey? Jesus fucking Christ, there has to be a law against this somewhere. Oh wait that would never happen because corporations make all the decisions for us and our Government is a bunch of sock smelling spineless douche bags with dollar bills in their eyes 24 hours a day. I realize commercials are an integral part of the money making machine of visual and audio entertainment. But do they really have to skull fuck us with nauseating commercials every fifteen god damn minutes to accomplish their goal? I guess they do. So the Giants won today and the Jets lost as usual (god they suck). Football Sunday has come to a close but I still have commercials zipping around my head like a god damn game of laser tag (I'm 30 and I may be showing it with a laser tag reference). After opening my eyes to this issue I feel like I was visually raped all day by Corporate scum and I need a cold shower. Thus I have a sad score of my own: Commercials 27, Football 3.